Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Exclusive Instant

My daughter eventually handed me back the phone. She had moved on to the next photo: a crisp, perfect shot of our dog sleeping. She smiled, said “Puppy,” and ran off to destroy the living room.

Motherhood, I was told, was an addition. A glorious, messy add-on to the structure of the Modern Woman. But nobody told me that additions require you to tear down the load-bearing walls of your former self. Nobody told me that the noise of a toddler’s tantrum could actually rewire your brain chemistry, or that the tenderness of a small hand on your cheek could physically ache in your chest.

Allison Carr, Author at Mutha Magazine. About Allison Carr. Allison Carr. Bio: Allison Carr is a witch, writer, healer, and queer. Mutha Magazine Allison Carr, Author at Mutha Magazine allison carr mutha magazine

"Allison Carr is a renowned journalist and editor, best known for her work at Mutha Magazine. Mutha is a quarterly publication that focuses on motherhood and parenting, offering a unique perspective on the challenges and triumphs of raising children. As one of the magazine's lead writers, Allison Carr has contributed numerous thought-provoking articles on topics such as parenting, family, and social issues. Her writing is characterized by its honesty, vulnerability, and insight, making her a respected voice in the world of parenting journalism."

My daughter is two years old, which means she has recently discovered the power of the emphatic “No.” But more importantly, she has discovered my camera roll. The other day, while waiting for her oatmeal to cool, she grabbed my phone. I braced for the inevitable butt-dial to my editor or a rogue FaceTime to my ex-husband. Instead, she went quiet. She was scrolling through photos of herself. My daughter eventually handed me back the phone

I think about that photo my daughter found. The “sad” one. In it, I am not performing. I am not trying to be a “good mom” for the ‘gram. I am just being a mom. My hand is dirty. The light is fluorescent. The moment is ugly. And yet, that is the photo she was drawn to. Not the Easter portrait. Not the beach sunset. The Tuesday morning apocalypse.

By Allison Carr

Carr’s articles for are known for their vulnerability and rejection of "saccharine" or unrealistic portrayals of motherhood. Her work often tackles:

I watched her over the rim of my coffee mug. She swiped past the curated shots—the ones where the light is golden, her hair is brushed, and she is smiling not because she is happy, but because I was making barnyard animal sounds behind the lens. She paused on a blurry one. I had taken it at 6:00 AM on a Tuesday. She is in her diaper, yogurt in her hair, screaming because the blue cup was, tragically, the wrong blue cup. In the frame, my own hand is visible, reaching in to wipe her face, a smudge of my thumbprint on the lens. Motherhood, I was told, was an addition

Why? Because it was real. Because even at two, she knows the difference between a smile and a truth.