After Eli, there was Marcus, who loved me for six perfect weeks before he loved his ex more. Then Jules, who said I was "intense" and stopped calling. Then the girl whose name I won't even write down, because admitting I still remember it feels like shame.
Each time, the same arc. Euphoria. Desperation. The sick, sweet ache of proving myself worthy.
I'm not cured. I don't think you get cured from something you've been doing since you were fifteen and a boy in a band sweater told you you were "different." love junkie free read
Recently reissued as a , this satirical novel follows Mimi Smithers, a bored Westchester housewife who falls down a "gay rabbit hole" in 1980s New York. Mimi becomes the unlikely administrative assistant to Joel, a handsome porn star, selling his memorabilia—including used underwear and verbal abuse tapes—to his devoted fans.
So I did. I over-texted. I showed up at his work with his favorite sandwich. I laughed too loud at his half-hearted jokes. And when he finally looked at me again — really looked — the relief was so sharp it hurt. After Eli, there was Marcus, who loved me
That was the second hit. Better than the first, because I'd almost lost it.
I was twenty-two. I didn't know I was an addict yet. Each time, the same arc
If this resonated, search your favorite ebook retailer for "Love Junkie: A Memoir of Wanting" (fictional title — but real books with this theme exist!). Or look for authors like Caroline Kepnes , Megan Nolan , or Chloe Caldwell for similar raw, addictive love stories.